Take Your Hand Off the Hot Stove with Breath

Today I’m delivering a short workshop on how IT consultants can reduce stress and handle clients who are “on fire.”

TIP: First, put out the fire.

“On Fire” clients are the ones caught in the grip of frustration, panic, blame, or other negative emotions. Their survival brain Saboteurs have hijacked them. When people are in that survival brain activation, their ability to think clearly and creatively is dramatically reduced. They simply don’t have access to the higher brain functions they need.

This is contagious. So we need to handle our own reactions first, and then we can help the clients.

The most important thing when you are caught in the grip of a survival brain Saboteur hijacking is to recognize and intercept it. Warning signs are feeling stressed, frustrated, angry, scornful, anxious, or other negative emotions.

Take your hand off the hot stove.

The negative emotions served you well for a second or two as an alert, but after that you are just continuing to damage yourself!

In the workshop, I share three techniques to do this, including PQ Reps from the Positive Intelligence® mental operating system.

One technique that I’m not including (because of time) is centered on breath. Instead, I will share this here in the newsletter with you.

How to use breath to take your hand off the hot stove:

Remember that you can do PQ Reps using any of your senses. A “PQ Rep” is one repetition of a mental muscle exercise done by putting focused attention on a single physical sense for 10 seconds. This specific exercise uses focused attention on your breath, like push ups develop the upper body or sit ups develop the abdominal muscles.

The idea here is to keep things very simple. You may already be familiar with some more complex breathing techniques. If they work for you already, please continue to use them.

The reason we keep the breath PQ Rep simple is because we want you to be able to use it all the time, including when you're sitting in a meeting with other people. We want you to be able to use it effortlessly in both public and private settings.

Just notice and follow the natural rhythm of your breath for 10 seconds at a time with focused, intense attention.

Go ahead and practice, if it’s possible for you right now. Close your eyes after you’ve read the instructions, if you wish. This can often make it easier to focus in practice.

When you start this exercise, it is helpful to have at least the first few breaths be somewhat deeper than your normal breath. This makes it easier for you to shift your focus to your breath.

This is 3 PQ Reps, or about 30 seconds of focused attention. During this time, your survival brain activation will very likely have faded. You will have intercepted the negative emotional state and calmed it somewhat with this technique. You took your hand off the hot stove.

The more you practice, the faster you can make this work.

You are very literally training your brain to respond at your command to take back control over your thoughts and emotions.

Just like lifting heavier weights takes more muscle development, handling tougher “on fire” people and situations takes more brain muscle development. This breath PQ Rep technique is useful in the moment, but really shows its benefit over time as you practice it and build up mental muscle.

If you’d like to learn more, check out the Technical Rock Star Leader Guide that has starter tips and additional resources for you. Share this with others you think would benefit, as well.

Remember: Breathing is good!

Let it help you take your hand off the hot stove and handle everything you face with ease and a smooth, positive flow of energy.

All the best,
–Steve

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