Forget Resolutions. 5 Tips to Build a New Habit and Overcome Immunity to Change.


It’s a new year! What do you want to do differently?

Many people make (and then discard) New Year’s resolutions.

I generally suggest ditching New Year’s resolutions as ineffective.

Build a few new habits that serve you well, instead.

I can hear the subconscious complaints already, “But habits seem hard!” “That's a lot of work!” “When will I find time to do that?”

Each of us has built up an "immunity to change." We have brain mechanisms that inoculate us against changes that could harm us, waste our resources, or shake our self-image.

This “immunity to change” is very strong! We keep doing what has made us successful in the past, regardless of the unintended consequences and painful side effects that go with these patterns of thinking and behavior.

But to learn, grow, and adapt to changes—and to get even better results for ourselves—we have to overcome that immunity to change.

If you want something better and different than you have now, then you are going to have to change something.

Interestingly, the more successful a person is, the greater their immunity to change becomes. We see this in both the original “Immunity to Change” research by Robert Kegan and Lisa Lahey and in the Coachability work done by Kevin Wilde at General Mills and the University of Minnesota.

The Positive Intelligence® research also draws on this same concept to offer some practical ways to overcome our built-up immunity to positive changes.

Let me share a few of those with you here.

  1. Visualize the success. What are the good things that will come with the change? Picture what success will feel like by creating a vivid sense memory that activates positive emotions. “Pre-feeling” the emotions that will accompany success primes your motivation. It also gives you something to tap whenever you need a 10-second recharge or reminder to persist with your practice. It will feel good to do this new thing!
  2. Practice just starting the activity and celebrate incomplete steps. Research has found that simply starting the chain of activities leads to faster and more successful habit formation, even if you don’t do the whole activity. Go easy on yourself! If something feels new or hard, just do the first little piece of it. Like setting out your gym shoes if you want to go exercise more often. Doing the first little part makes it slightly more likely that you will take the next step, and so on. This can snowball. Celebrate even those little steps because you know that they will lead to bigger things when you persist.
  3. Break it down to “What’s needed now?” Change can be overwhelming. Break it down into small steps you can manage. Take action by asking, “What’s needed now?” Break it down even further, if you need to. Either you will know what that next step is or you can use one of your PQ powers (empathize, explore, innovate, navigate, activate, take a Sage perspective) to discover it. Make it manageable and do the thing.
  4. Add it into your routine. You already have a routine of habits that gets you through the day. Find out where your new habit will fit in best. Add it and begin practicing with small steps. Then, use whatever reminder and support tools already work for you to keep it visible. For some people this is a checklist. For others it is a calendar or planner. Other people rely on reminders and support from others. Some people post notes for themselves. The PQ App offers notifications on your mobile device. Use what works for you.
  5. Be bad, first. It is okay and expected that you will not perform perfectly when making a change or starting a new habit! We’ve all been there. Skill takes time and repetition. Knowing isn’t enough; we learn by doing. Accept that it will take time and be willing to be a novice. Play with it! Laugh and do silly celebrations for yourself each time you remember to start and each time you get a “win” in the new habit. When you need a motivation boost remind yourself what success will feel like (Tip #1, above) and keep going.

Here’s another secret: Make a commitment to someone else and ask them to help you stay on track. Creating some kind of social support for your goals boosts the likelihood of your success by more than 50%.

(This is why professional trainers and instructional designers often build accountability groups into their training programs and why individual coaching is so effective in making lasting change happen.)

If we are slaves to our habits, as has been suggested going back to Aristotle (and other thinkers cross-culturally), then why not choose the habits that do us the most good?

If you would like help implementing this, whether it’s for something big or small, contact me. I am always happy to help.

All the best habits to you in 2025!
–Steve

(Thank you to Erika Andersen for “Be Bad First,” another great book on this topic!)

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